Day 39: Restore

Day 37: Home

Our house is starting to feel like home - it's a refuge at the end of a long day, a place I look forward to return to, an environment that allows me to be completely comfortable.  After years of living in apartments in cities across the state it has been a slow realization that where we live now truly is our new home, and where we grew up is "the parents' house."  It's a strange but welcomed transition.  I counted it up - I have moved 16 times since I first moved to college in 2004, that has to be nomad status!  It's incredibly relieving and comforting to know that we don't have to move again until we want to.

My faith is slowly starting to feel "homey" - comforting and reliable.  This too has been an adjustment.  Faith/religion/sprituality was a part of life that was sporadic at best until I started seeking it out on my own in middle school.  Having faith be a consistent part of life is a relatively new experience for me

Day 34: Rise

 

 ^{What a fitting word for a Monday...it's pretty hard to rise on Mondays after sleeping in, snuggling with my hubby, and enjoying a big breakfast on Sundays.}

^{In a lot of ways, this week is about performance under pressure and rising to the occasion.  I had 4 days of blogs to catch up on today, I have a mountain of grading to get done by Thursday, I have my final Evaluation & SMART Goal meeting on Friday to prepare for, I have the California/Mexicali trip to pack for this weekend, and in order to meet my original weight loss goal I still have 3 pounds to lose in the next 2 weeks!}

^{I know that if I manage my time correctly, have confidence in myself, and put my focus and efforts in the right places I can accomplish it all - but it's going to take a lot of work and faith...}

^{Mark 9}

²³ “What do you mean, ‘If I can’?” Jesus asked. “Anything is possible if a person believes.”

   

Day 33: New

 

^{Ok, so the trick here is to not focus on my ugly feet - but on my super cute new St. Patty's Pedicure!  Yes, my nails are green with gold flakes :-D}

^{Every once in a while we deserve new, we deserve pampering, we deserve a fresh start.  Jesus promised to make us new in the eyes of God; through his sacrifice we were given a fresh start and are promised to be pampered with the love and presence of God in this world and in heaven when we pass on.}  

^{What do we have to do to receive these blessings?  We have to open our hearts and minds.  We have to be selfless - we have to live our lives for someone other than ourselves.  It's not good enough to say you're a Christian or to say that you accept Jesus as your Savior - you have to act on it, you have to live your life like it.  Being human, it's impossible for us to do that perfectly - but that doesn't mean that you don't have to try.  It is not just the thought that counts.  Jesus told more than one parable telling us this very directly:}

^{Matthew 7}

The Tree and Its Fruit

¹⁵ “Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves. ¹⁶ You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act. Can you pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? ¹⁷ A good tree produces good fruit, and a bad tree produces bad fruit. ¹⁸ A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. ¹⁹ So every tree that does not produce good fruit is chopped down and thrown into the fire. ²⁰ Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions.

True Disciples

²¹ “Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter. ²² On judgment day many will say to me, ‘Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.’ ²³ But I will reply, ‘I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God’s laws.’

Building on a Solid Foundation

²⁴ “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. ²⁵ Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. ²⁶ But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. ²⁷ When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”

  

Day 32: Surround

 

1 week ago it was nearly 60 degrees - I was happy, hopeful, and looking forward to Spring.  Now look at it!  Back into the gloom of winter we go...Our surroundings can have a profound impact on our moods and overall outlook on life.  No more proof is needed than the major mood swing most people I know went through in the past week!

On one hand, it's probably a good thing to be affected by your surroundings because it means that you're in tune with what/who's around you.  But, on the other hand, there is also a lot of merit to being able to stay grounded and centered regardless of what's going on in life.  

Family and Faith help keep me centered - knowing that I can count on that unconditional support and love can help get me through even the gloomiest winter days :-) 

Psalm 19

¹⁴ May the words of my mouth
    and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing to you,
    O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

Day 31: Temper

 

Nothing drives me crazier than dirty dishes filling up the sink when the dishwasher is dirty!  It's funny how the littlest things can make our temper flare and send us off the edge.  Every once in a while, after a long day of being very patient with teenagers at school, it doesn't take much to be the straw that broke this camel's back.  We have a tendency to keep very close track of our "Annoyance Meters," it can be very difficult to remember that every other person you interact with in a day doesn't know the tally of how many times your patience has already been tried...

I think Adam would tell you that I have mellowed out a lot over the past 10 years.  When we first started dating I was extremely Type A and he was extremely Type B - we have slowly rubbed off on each other and we're both much closer to the happy middle ground of having high expectations while still being able to go with the flow.  Sometimes you just have to take a deep breath, put yourself in the other person's shoes, and ask yourself "How will I make them feel if I say what I want to say to them - and is it important enough to me to make that impact?"     

James 1

¹⁹ Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. ²⁰ Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. ²¹ So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls.

²² But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. ²³ For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. ²⁴ You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. ²⁵ But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.

²⁶ If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless.

Day 30: Go

 

I feel like I'm always on the go - so much to do and so little time (obviously that has really been true lately considering this blog is 4 days late!)  I'm so used to being insanely busy that when I do have some down-time I don't know what to do with myself!  As a teacher, it's pretty common to hear someone say "Oh that must be so nice to have the summers off!"  - but just about every teacher I know would tell you that those 2 1/2 months "off" quickly fill up with other responsibilities and end up flying by.  I've fallen off the wagon a bit this last week, but I really appreciate how this challenge has forced me to take some time to slow down every day to reflect on my faith journey.

Psalm 131

My heart is not proud, Lord,
    my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
    or things too wonderful for me.
² But I have calmed and quieted myself,
    I am like a weaned child with its mother;
    like a weaned child I am content.

Day 29: Water

In a lot of ways the water feels like home to me - I've spent a good chunk of my life here at the Cameron Pool at Beach Middle School!  I took quite a hiatus from swimming, it feels so good to get back into it - not only because it's a great workout, but also because of the camaraderie that comes with getting through a workout together.  I love that it's bringing me together with a lot of different people - friends, family, and even complete strangers have become swimming buddies over the past few weeks :-)

In Christianity, water brings believers together and closer to God; it symbolizes the washing away of sin, the rebirth in faith, and the commitment to following Jesus' teachings.  Even though I was baptized years ago I still struggle with my past sins - they creep into my mind from time to time and the guilt and pain lingers.  I try to remind myself of how it felt when I came out of the water - the sense of relief that had washed over me, knowing that I was putting the past behind me and committing myself to becoming a better person from that moment on.  It's been a long and bumpy road, and I've definitely faltered along the way, but I know that I have changed for the better - and people around me can see that I have changed.  As hard as it is to forgive others, sometimes it can be even more difficult to forgive ourselves.

^{Romans 6}

^{3 Or have you forgotten that when we were joined with Christ Jesus in baptism, we joined him in his death? 4 For we died and were buried with Christ by baptism. And just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we also may live new lives.}

Day 28: Silence

I spent my afternoon at Horses' Haven again today.  Everything seemed to fall into place - it was a little warmer, I was better prepared, the other volunteers were extremely welcoming and we worked together as a very efficient team :-)  But even more importantly I got to visit with all of the horses again - I spent some special time with the friends that I made last week and I made sure to make some more and learn a few more names today.  Moses is on the left and Freebie is on the right :-)  Everyone knows when its feeding time - they all come running up to the gates, shaking their heads and prancing with impatience.  But once the food is out, everything is silent and still.

We are the same way - unfortunately, there are plenty of days when my meals are the only silent time I get.  Life is full of noise, and usually that's a good thing.  But every once in a while it's nice to take some quiet time to yourself and just be alone with your thoughts.  That has been a huge benefit of this Lenten journey - it has forced me to set time aside for myself, to be quiet and still, to reflect, and to listen for God.  It's amazing what you can hear in silence.

Psalm 62

⁵ For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
    for my hope is from him.
⁶ He only is my rock and my salvation,
    my fortress; I shall not be shaken.

Day 27: Happy

I saw a rainbow on my way home from work today and it made me happy :-)  I can finally see the light at the end of the long, dark, wintery tunnel that we have been in for so long!  Year after year February is the hardest month to get through and March brings a sense of physical and emotional renewal.  I am happy.  I am happy with my marriage, my home, my job, my health...I am much happier with my life right now than I have been in a long time.

And it hasn't been all my doing.  Yes, I've worked hard for what I have; but I would be lying if I said that I didn't believe there was some sort of higher influence working in my life.  From my relationship with Adam, to the jobs I have been able to get, to finding our home - I have been blessed.  Call it Karma if you want, but I believe that the positive changes I have made in my life over the past 5 years have made their way back to me.

1 Peter 5

⁶ So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. ⁷ Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

Day 26: Ate

One of the awesome things about ULC is the post-service Soup Lunch - today we had pretzel rolls to go with our choice of chili or Zuppa Toscana :-)  After all the exercise and dieting I've been doing lately, that pretzel roll was sooo delicious - I savored every bite of it with my soup!  I love food.  I've always said that I have a 300 pound inner-child.  I don't just eat because I'm hungry, I eat because it tastes good, because I'm bored/lazy, or just because I'm craving it and I want to!  

As food is the nourishment of our body, spiritual practices are the nourishment of our soul.  We experience spiritual hunger, satisfaction, laziness and craving.  And just as we each have our own preferred foods, we have our own preferred methods of worship.  What's amazing is that God is available to each one of us in the exact way that we need - we just have to seek out that connection the same way we frantically seek out our most beloved comfort foods in the back of our kitchen cabinets.

John 6

³² Jesus said to them, “Very truly I tell you, it is not Moses who has given you the bread from heaven, but it is my Father who gives you the true bread from heaven. ³³ For the bread of God is the bread that comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.”

³⁴ “Sir,” they said, “always give us this bread.”

³⁵ Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.

Day 25: Faithful

faithful

1.strict or thorough in the performance of duty

2.true to one's word, promises, vows, etc.

3.steady in allegiance or affection; loyal; constant

4.reliable, trusted, or believed.

5. adhering or true to fact, a standard, or an original; accurate

There's a lot to live up to in the word faithful; and as if that wasn't hard enough, we are held to that standard in more than just one area of our life.  I am expected to be, and I expect myself to be, a faithful wife, friend, daughter, sister, co-worker, confidant, mentor, teacher, volunteer, Christian...it takes a lot of time and effort, and it can be exhausting.  With faithfulness comes sacrifice and selflessness, two conscious choices that are extremely difficult to make when wrestling against one's own wants and interests.  But the rewards for faithfulness can be great - respect, honor, love...

Even though we all struggle with faithfulness in one area of our lives or another, it doesn't stop us from being utterly devastated when someone is unfaithful to us.  Regardless of our capability to empathize, we relent our emotions to anger or sadness.  From even just the smallest transgressions we question our relationships - on days when the sound of treats shaking in a box is the only thing that brings Abby home (after I've called her name for what seems like an eternity, ahem, yesterday) I question whether she loves me or just the food I provide her! 

How amazing is it then that God offers love and forgiveness regardless of our wavering faithfulness!  

Ephesians 2

⁴ But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, ⁵ made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. ⁶ And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, ⁷ in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. ⁸ For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— ⁹ not by works, so that no one can boast.

Day 24: Find

Blast From The Past: Magic Eyes!  I used to be really good at them, but when I flipped through the pages tonight I found myself very frustrated.  Maybe that says something about the quality of my sight, or maybe I'm just tired...but there's definitely a parallel to be made here...

For those of you who have never attempted a Magic Eye before, you basically stare at a blurry mess just long enough that you almost start to get a headache and then, miraculously, a 3D image appears.  Life can be like a Magic Eye - confusing, chaotic, headache-inducing...but then moments of clarity can happen and you suddenly understand how the mysterious ways of the universe can come together in exactly the way it was meant to.  

While I don't believe that everything that happens to us in our daily lives is controlled by God, I do believe that God has a plan for us - that we have a purpose to fulfill within our life and that we often don't understand what that is until we have already arrived at our destination...after more than a few challenges and headaches along the way :-)

Romans 8

²⁸ And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

Day 23: No

This is Diesel - one of the many new friends I made today :-)  I spent most of my afternoon and evening volunteering at Horses' Haven - a rescue farm in Howell.  It was by chance that I came across the flier looking for help, but I think it was meant to be.  Before I went today I checked out the website - some of the stories and pictures were so disturbing that I was afraid I wouldn't be able to spend my time there without condemning myself to coming home crying every night.  But, I said "no" to my apprehensions and went - and I'm glad that I did.  They have nearly 50 horses, including some miniatures and donkeys.  Some of them are very old, some of them are blind, some of them have special needs, and all of them need a lot of love and TLC.  I'm really looking forward to the Spring and Summer there when I can spend time out in the fields with the horses without my toes freezing off!  There's something almost spiritual about making connections with animals - it's like you exercise a whole other part of your brain/spirit in order to understand them, a God-given ability to connect with nature that has slowly faded away from us...

Ecclesiastes 3

¹⁸ I said in my heart, “Concerning the condition of the sons of men, God tests them, that they may see that they themselves are like animals.” ¹⁹ For what happens to the sons of men also happens to animals; one thing befalls them: as one dies, so dies the other. Surely, they all have one breath; man has no advantage over animals, for all is vanity. ²⁰ All go to one place: all are from the dust, and all return to dust. ²¹ Who knows the spirit of the sons of men, which goes upward, and the spirit of the animal, which goes down to the earth?

Day 22: Shadow

In order for there to be a shadow there has to be a light and something blocking it.  We allow all kinds of things and people to block us from God's light and create shadows in our lives.  Greed, jealousy, envy, revenge...Taking time to focus on these things and choosing to remove them from our lives opens us up to the warmth and peace of God's light.  It's an ongoing process - I think the hardest thing to do is to forgive.  I've never been one to let very many people in, so when I get hurt by one of those few people it takes me a long time to get over it.  I'm slowly coming to realize that holding that kind of grudge does nothing but hold me back and hurt me even more.  It's time to let go.

Colossians 3

¹² Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. ¹³ Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. ¹⁴ Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. ¹⁵ And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.

Day 21: Night

The night is a paradox - we have an instinctual fear of the darkness that it brings, but at the same time it offers us relaxation and peace.   Our spirituality is similar - so much of it is unknown, which can be intimidating and sometimes even frightening, and yet the exploration of the unknown can be restorative.  As you stay in the dark of night your eyes begin to adjust, your fears subside, and you slowly become comfortable in it.  Likewise, as you question and explore your spirituality things slowly start to come into focus and you begin to be able to understand it and even find comfort in it.

John 14

²⁷ Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Day 20: Bless

The word Bless brings a lot to mind, but the memory that I keep coming back to is when MawMaw gave Adam and I her blessing before she passed away.  That moment, to me, was one of the most important moments in our relationship.  She could see that we were meant to be together forever, before we even knew it for sure ourselves.  MawMaw left me her wedding ring set.  Adam used most of the diamonds to design all of our wedding rings, I used some of the diamonds for my "something new" earrings and I designed a ring for my sister so that she had something beautiful to remember her by too.  Every time I look at my rings I am reminded of how very blessed I am to have Adam in my life.  He is an amazing life partner - through the good and the bad over the past 10 years we have grown together.  Even though it has been rocky at times we have been able to help make each other better individuals and we have grown together.  I think we have truly become the couple that MawMaw knew we were meant to be and I feel so blessed to have that kind of love and support in my life.

Philippians 2

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, ² then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. ³ Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, ⁴ not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.  

Day 19: Thirst

Sometimes when you feel hungry, you're actually just dehydrated...I think faith works the same way.  Feeling unfulfilled can seem like it's stemming from a lot of different things.  We think we're unhappy because of our job, or because of the money/things we don't have, or because of the people around us - but really we're unhappy because we don't carve out enough time for ourselves.  We don't spend the time that we should nurturing our bodies, minds, and spirits.  We eat fast food because it's convenient and we watch tv instead of meditating or going for a walk.  It's easier to be lazy and mindless - so we do it for the instant gratification...It's convenient to schedule God in our lives - so we go to church on Sunday mornings and call it good for the rest of the week.

Part of my motivation for this post is to chastise myself for falling behind in my blogs - I've noticed a significant difference in my overall happiness/fulfillment in life during this Lent season.  Finding time every day to be alone with my thoughts and feelings is incredibly relaxing and therapeutic.  I'm disappointed in myself for slipping back into old habits of being "too busy" to make time for myself everyday. I suppose its appropriate that this struggle has come at the half-way point - it's all downhill from here :-)

John 4
¹⁴ but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

Day 18: Leave

I've had to leave a lot behind throughout my spiritual journey.  I've left behind old beliefs, my past sins, old friends, and my first home church.  But in return I have gained a lot - I feel more spiritually complete, I have become a better person, I have surrounded myself with people who truly care about me, and I have reached out into a new church community that is offering me many opportunities that I did not have before.

I used to believe that my spiritual and political beliefs were inherently opposite of Christian beliefs and that I could not possibly balance the two - therefore making Christianity a non-option for me.  I have come to learn, however, that Christianity is a complex religion that can be incredibly accepting and inclusive.  The Christian faith can unfortunately be very misrepresented by some of its own followers.  It took quite a while for me to be able to separate the political body of the "Christian Church" from the religion's true teachings and tenants.  Once I was able to do that I was able to meld most of my pre-existing beliefs with what I believe to be the true pillars of Christianity - the teachings of Jesus.

John 15

⁹ “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. ¹⁰ If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. ¹¹ I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. ¹² My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. ¹³ Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

Day 17: Prophet

I chose to take a picture of the stars because I feel that one of the most currently important biblical prophecies was that of God promising Abram that he would have as many descendants as stars in the sky.  It was because of God's promise, and Sarai & Abram's impatience, that Abram ended up being the father of two sons - Ishmael, the father of Arabs, and Isaac, the father of Jews...eventually leading us to the rift between the three Abrahamic religions today, the conflict in Israel, many wars, etc.  (If you haven't seen it, the West Wing has an awesome episode on this!)  Throughout the Bible, it seems like prophecies cause more trouble than bring good...

I wonder what it would take for us to believe a self-proclaimed prophet today.  Most of the prophets in the Bible were pretty out there - John was eating locusts!  I think we would be more likely to throw a prophet in the looney bin these days than to even give their preachings a second thought.  How would we even define a prophet today?  Would they have to accurately predict some sort of natural disaster?  Perform a miracle?  I'm honestly not even sure who would be considered the last world-wide accepted prophet...

2 Peter 1

¹⁹ We also have the prophetic message as something completely reliable, and you will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts. ²⁰ Above all, you must understand that no prophecy of Scripture came about by the prophet’s own interpretation of things. ²¹ For prophecy never had its origin in the human will, but prophets, though human, spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit.

Day 16: Earthly

Sadly this is the extent of my current garden - well, that plus the winterized strawberry plants in the garage that I hope will come back to life the way they are supposed to.  Last summer was the first time that I put in the time and effort to have a garden, it was extremely rewarding!  Not only was the food organic and delicious, but the practice of gardening was so calming - almost like prayer or meditation.  The thoughtful preparation of the garden, the quiet routine of caring for the plants, and the excitement of watching them grow all amounted to an experience that made me feel reconnected to the Earth, to the cycle of life, to creation (and I definitely enjoyed the benefit of yummy fruits and veggies in my back yard!)

I can't wait for Spring, for the renewal of the Earth.  I enjoy winter for about a month and then I'm over it!  It's only the last day of February and I'm already itching to start landscaping and planting the new garden.  I'm also really excited because I can make permanent garden plans this time around - no digging it all up and moving it across the state this year! :-)

The dark, cold, slop of February makes it hard to appreciate the natural beauty that we live in.  The small miracle of watching a broccoli seed sprout and grow into an enormous plant (before last year I had no idea how big broccoli plants were!) is just the tip of the iceberg of Earth's wonders.  While I do believe in micro-evolution - I feel like you can't help but believe in a higher power and creation when you truly appreciate the world around you.  We have a responsibility to love and care for the Earth, and we have done a fairly poor job as of late - I believe that repairing that relationship will bring us all a greater sense of spiritual peace.

Genesis 1

²⁸ Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground.”

²⁹ Then God said, “Look! I have given you every seed-bearing plant throughout the earth and all the fruit trees for your food. ³⁰ And I have given every green plant as food for all the wild animals, the birds in the sky, and the small animals that scurry along the ground—everything that has life.” And that is what happened.

Day 15: Hear

"For us to take God seriously, we have to be open to asking questions and perhaps doubting what it is we believe, trusting that God is big enough to handle our questions...May we have the courage to see and hear what both doubt and faith have to teach and may each of us daily go on to perfection, patterning our lives after Christ, that, in every thought of our hearts, in every word of our tongues, in every work of our hands, we would show forth praise."

There's a lot of noise in life and it can be really hard to tune it all out and listen for God.  There was a point while I was singing at service on Sunday when I couldn't really hear myself.  I was nervous enough to begin with...but that moment of anxiety pushed me to let go.  I consciously thought to myself that I needed to stop worrying about how I sounded; that if I just focused on the words and meaning of the songs, the sound would come on its own.  I still couldn't hear myself that well, and I know I made some mistakes, but I had multiple people come up to me afterward and thank me for singing - so I couldn't have been all that bad, and I might have even reached a few people who were there.

I really appreciated Rethink Church's devotional today - it met me at exactly where I feel I am on my journey.  I am beginning to feel more bold and confident in my faith, but I still have moments of doubt and I still have plenty of questions.  I'm a very logical person - always questioning everything - so it makes perfect sense to me that a mature faith embraces, and in some ways even requires, doubt.  I believe that questioning faith is an important step for everyone to take - whether you were brought up into a faith or if you are still searching for something, its important to test your own spiritual boundaries.  If you have a question to ask and you truly open up your heart and mind, you never know what you might hear in response to guide you.

Matthew 7

⁷ “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  

⁸ For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; 

and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

Day 14: Lift

Those of you non-short people out there may not understand my picture today; but trust me, my step stool lifts me up to places I couldn't go without it :-)

We depend on a lot of things to lift us up in life - our family & friends, jobs, hobbies, food, guilty pleasure tv shows...we look forward to these things, they brighten our day, provide a refuge, and help us face life's daily grind and challenges.

This Lent season has made me realize that, until recently, my faith has not made that list often enough.  It's not an excuse, but having a home church makes all the difference.  At Resurrection Life my involvement in the choir led me to connect with God authentically throughout the week.  During our 2 years in Kalamazoo we searched for a church, but never found one that felt right.  Now that we are back on the East Side I have committed myself to devoting more time and energy to my faith.  I have just started singing at church again and I am going on a youth mission trip to Mexico as a translator.  I think these experiences will lift me up in my faith, reconnect me with God, and help me seek out my faith as a comfort and support more often.

Psalm 18:2

The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior;
    my God is my rock, in whom I find protection.
He is my shield, the power that saves me,
    and my place of safety.

Day 13: Cover

 

Cover: 

1. to be or serve as a covering for; extend over; rest on the surface of

2. to place something over or upon, as for protection, concealment, or warmth.

3. to protect or conceal

4.to bring upon (oneself)

 

1. God's presence is all around us, covering our lives like a thin layer of a dust that you only see if you're looking for it

2. God's love can feel warm and comforting, just like climbing into bed and snuggling under the covers after a long day

3. I feel like there are some Christians who use their "fervor" of faith as a cover for their own sins - I believe it is truly the greatest sin of all to judge/chastise others for their sins.

4.  We have the ability to cover ourselves with God's grace if we can humble ourselves, bring our worries to God, and identify and work to rectify our shortcomings. 

 

 

 Romans 4

¹³ Clearly, God’s promise to give the whole earth to Abraham and his descendants was based not on his obedience to God’s law, but on a right relationship with God that comes by faith. ¹⁴ If God’s promise is only for those who obey the law, then faith is not necessary and the promise is pointless. ¹⁵ For the law always brings punishment on those who try to obey it. (The only way to avoid breaking the law is to have no law to break!)
¹⁶ So the promise is received by faith. It is given as a free gift. And we are all certain to receive it, whether or not we live according to the law of Moses, if we have faith like Abraham’s. For Abraham is the father of all who believe. 

Day 12: Vision

I'm definitely struggling with "vision" today - I feel like I am recycling a lot of thoughts that I had for "see" and "wonder."

What I keep coming back to is that God has a vision for our lives - and it is a constant struggle to make our vision for our life match it.  God has given us parameters to live by, goals to meet, and accomplishments to pursue.  In the Bible there are numerous stories of people receiving dreams/visions from God - giving them direction, a clear path to follow.  I wish it was that easy for all of us - I wish I had a clear vision of where I was going and what I was supposed to be doing.  On good days when I feel like my lesson has really reached my students, or I have been extremely productive, or I have managed to be an all-star wife I do feel like I'm doing exactly what I'm meant to do in this life.  But there are many more days when I question my decisions - from minute daily tasks to whether or not I chose the right career.

These are the days when we have to listen to the silence, pray for guidance, and simply do the best we can to focus the hazy picture of the path God has laid out for us.

Psalm 119:105

Your word is a lamp for my feet,
    a light on my path.

Day 11: Live

I normally wouldn't want anyone to see my kitchen this messy (I'm also hoping that my fancy sketch effect makes the mess slightly less offensive haha)...but in the spirit of Living I put the To Do List aside this weekend and just relaxed and enjoyed my husband, friends, and family after a stressful week.

Sometimes we get so bogged down by daily tasks and To Dos that we can't even enjoy life - at least I know I am guilty of this far more often than I should be.  Lesson Plans, Grading, Cleaning, Laundry, Dishes...the list goes on and on.  Most days those items are my top priorities - rather than spending time with friends, walking the dog, relaxing with my husband, reflection, doing the things that I truly enjoy like reading, singing, exercising...So, this weekend I did all of those things, and none of the former :-) 

I need to enjoy life and just live more often.  By no means am I trying to give credit to "YOLO" (You Only Live Once for those who don't interact with the younger generation on a daily basis lol).  While I do agree with the statement (it's certainly not a new concept eg Carpe Diem), I feel like most of my students have allowed popular media and celebrities like Drake misconstrue its true sentiment.  YOLO should not be an excuse for making bad choices - it should be the reason for making good ones, and an inspiration to enjoy your life while at the same time making it productive and meaningful.  I believe that we can accomplish this while at the same time developing our spirituality, praising God, and living up to God's expectations of us. 

Ecclesiastes 5:18

This is what I have observed to be good: that it is appropriate for a person to eat, to drink and to find satisfaction in their toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given them—for this is their lot.